I have been wondering why lately I have been very focused on trying to finish things. I have been wanting a hobby/skill activity that I am good at and actually doing things with. I think about it and my day to day life is pretty thankless as a whole and there are a lot of battles that I am losing. I can't say that this is because I stay home, because I have never had a really rewarding job, in fact the roles I have now are way more rewarding than when I worked full time, which doesn't say a whole lot about my former job.
On a daily basis I am generally waging and losing the following battles:
Keeping up with laundry and cleaning.
Selling the house.
Keeping the house show ready.
Cooking healthy meals for my kids.
Losing the last 5 pounds and not gaining back the first 15.
Ending the ant invasion.
Keeping crumbs off the floor (see above).
Potty training Ava.
Keeping the screaming/yelling to a minimum.
Having some sort of a schedule during the day.
Getting Rhys to sleep through the night.
doing my hair everyday.
Staying within our budget.
Having an actual conversation with an adult once a day.
Then I go to work and even though I love what I do, it isn't always rewarding. A lot of the time it is frustrating, sad, and exhausting.
I think I need to feel good at something instead of always not quite getting there. Therefore I must learn to knit amazingly beautiful sweaters, and obtain large amounts of knowledge, and make plans to be more organized.
This really isn't meant to be a woe is me post. Just sometimes it sucks to not hear a single thank you all day long. Blah.
I also just cleaned up spilled berry smoothie and chocolate ice cream out of the carpet. And I swept the floor for the 3rd time today. And I killed ants crawling over the ant trap. But I am totally within my points for the day!