Thursday, August 27, 2009


I have been wondering why lately I have been very focused on trying to finish things. I have been wanting a hobby/skill activity that I am good at and actually doing things with. I think about it and my day to day life is pretty thankless as a whole and there are a lot of battles that I am losing. I can't say that this is because I stay home, because I have never had a really rewarding job, in fact the roles I have now are way more rewarding than when I worked full time, which doesn't say a whole lot about my former job.

On a daily basis I am generally waging and losing the following battles:

Keeping up with laundry and cleaning.
Selling the house.
Keeping the house show ready.
Cooking healthy meals for my kids.
Losing the last 5 pounds and not gaining back the first 15.
Ending the ant invasion.
Keeping crumbs off the floor (see above).
Potty training Ava.
Keeping the screaming/yelling to a minimum.
Having some sort of a schedule during the day.
Getting Rhys to sleep through the night.
doing my hair everyday.
Staying within our budget.
Having an actual conversation with an adult once a day.

Then I go to work and even though I love what I do, it isn't always rewarding. A lot of the time it is frustrating, sad, and exhausting.

I think I need to feel good at something instead of always not quite getting there. Therefore I must learn to knit amazingly beautiful sweaters, and obtain large amounts of knowledge, and make plans to be more organized.

This really isn't meant to be a woe is me post. Just sometimes it sucks to not hear a single thank you all day long. Blah.

I also just cleaned up spilled berry smoothie and chocolate ice cream out of the carpet. And I swept the floor for the 3rd time today. And I killed ants crawling over the ant trap. But I am totally within my points for the day!


  1. Wow, I just read this. It turned out to be very negative blah. I guess that is what happens when I am posting and get distracted repeatedly so I only try to hit the points in my head and cut out all the humor and fluff.

  2. I've been there! Sometimes everything builds up and it's easy to feel like a failure. I always go back to Col. 3:23 in moments like these... I hope today is a better day with no ants, clean clothes and an encouraging conversation! =]


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