Monday, June 29, 2009

good bye fancy layout

There were some issues with that layout. Like I couldn't have comments. Justin said he will make me one sometime. For now, we are going plain and simple. Can't get more simple than this.

random thoughts

Ava is off for her playdate. I am waiting for the dishes to finish so I can re-load the dishwasher. I am not yet ready to go fold laundry. I am working on a spot on the carpet. Go Diego, Go! is still on. Why? I have no idea. I have a bunch of little thoughts for posts, but not enough on each topic to make up a whole one.

* I got a pedicure on Thursday to prepare for the wedding. My toe is now all infected. I think this happened the last time I got one. I am being punished for vanity.

* The list of things I want to do is getting longer, but more focused. I REALLY want to do these things, not just think it will be fun.

* The list is:
- I really want to learn how to knit actual items of clothing.
- I want to be able to set aside real "me" time to work on said items of clothing and other things, like reading for learning and pleasure.
- I want to start taking regular horse back riding lessons and possibly look into riding competitively. It is something that I have always wanted to do and I can actually start up as an adult. I took a horseback riding class in college and it was awesome.
- I want to move to a house with a yard and a garden.
- I want a cleaning lady.

* Rhys is napping. He keeps rolling into his play thingy on the side of his crib and setting off the music. If that thingy wakes him up it will be in the garbage. Hear that play thingy? I am warning you.

* We have successfully grown 3 tomatoes. Ava has eaten them all. There are a ton of green ones just waiting to turn.

* One sunflower has dodged the landscapers. They are out there again right now so we will see if it will survive. It is still just green leaves, so if it would hurry up and turn into an actual flower it will have a much longer life expectancy.

* I am not sure how I feel about my new blog format. It seems a little intense and hard to read.

* I love it that the insurance people from Children's actually called me to tell me ahead of time what my estimated out of pocket will be, down to the dollar.

* I have a month until I can get a new cell phone for free. Decisions, decisions.

I should go fold clothes...and spray for ants.

Sunday, June 28, 2009


So far this summer is not going at all as I had expected it to, but I think I am ok with it. I really do think that buying a pool pass was probably the best investment I could have made this summer. Granted, we have only had it for a week, but already it has made all the difference in the world, even if only in my head. I know that pretty much, we have something to do during the day to get us out of the house, no matter how hot it is. There are at least three different things for Ava to do at the pool so she doesn't get bored and so far everyday she has met up with another kid that she knows to play with. That generally means I have run into another mom I know to talk with. One is just a lady I met at the pool and I don't know her name, but it is still nice. Believe it or not, I think the pool is making me more diligent in my cleaning routine. I don't want to feel bad when I am there, thinking of all the things I didn't do at home. So I try to make sure to pick up before bed, start a load of dishes, put the laundry in the dryer, etc. That way when we come home I can use nap time for whatever else I want to get done around the house. I know you are probably so tired of hearing about the cleaning situation at home, but someday when I have it down, I will stop talking about it.

Rhys and I are going to have Monday all to ourselves this week. I have no idea what we will do. Maybe go grocery shopping with just one child. I had planned to pack up his winter clothes, but I got ahead of myself and did it yesterday. Maybe I should pack up Ava's but I don't want to really because I am sure she will wear the same size this winter so by the time I get around to putting the bin away, I will have to pull it out again. All I know is I am going to have one full nap to do whatever I want. I probably will just sleep.

My friend Lee got married Friday night. Ava and I were both in the wedding. It was a fun time. I had no idea that Ava would be so into dancing. She kept asking about it all afternoon so promised that she would get to dance to a couple songs before she went home. The dancing got started a little later than expected so Rhys was completely over being there at that point. I took Ava out to dance and she kind of just stood there for about half the song. Maybe she wasn't feeling the groove at that point. I got a little silly with her, and then it was like I had pulled the rip cord. She didn't stop. She didn't want to dance with anyone else, she just needed to move. When I tried to get her to leave she told me she didn't want to go home and then yelled, "I want to dance!" I let her have one more song and then convinced her she could have a dance party with Aunt Sarah when she got home. I think they forgot about the dance party and just watched Charlie and the Chocolate factory for the 931st and 932nd time.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"I went in the water, I played in the sand, and I went in the water."

The title of this post was Ava's summary of our day today. We went to a pool to test it out (see I could have put a pun in there about waters and all that, but I did not, I resisted). I wanted to see if a) Ava actually liked it and b) if I found it easy enough to handle both of them or if I would want to shoot myself rather than go back. It was a success. Ava had tons of fun. Rhys actually took a nap in the pool while I held him. He hasn't been feeling quite himself the last couple of days and I think that had something to do with the nap, but who knows. It was pretty nice to be in the water. So I decided to bite the bullet and get a pass for the summer. This will be the only year I only need to get a pass for me since they are both 2 and under. Might as well see if I get our money's worth.

I came home and we played and attempted naps and that didn't happen at all. I did manage to fold up the rest of the laundry and got dinner picked out and all that stuff. We did the whole dinner thing and then I had 2 softball games. I am now home from the very hot sticky games and freshly showered. I had plans to do dishes, do some more laundry, pick up, all before bed. I am feeling more like relaxing in the quiet right now. I like to think that I will get it done tomorrow, but tomorrow is either pool or park in the morning, depending on how hot it really is and then home for naps (They will happen!) and I go to work. I probably should end this and go unload the dishwasher.

Monday, June 22, 2009

so much to do, so little time

I had this great idea that I would get things done around the house last week. I started off well. I even made my bed for three days in a row. That honestly just rarely happens. Then Ava ended up with serum sickness and the plan went away. It is so hard to get stuff done when your child is being needy. I am sure this is common sense, but I just had to state the obvious. We ended up in the hospital for a night which also threw everything off. Anyway, back on track, hopefully.

Rhys had his 6 month appointment on Friday. He is 17 lbs 12 oz., 25.5 inches long. 50th percentile weight, 20th height, and 95th for head circ. Overall, healthy and good. No teeth to be seen. He has mastered rolling around the livingroom to get into everything. If he is sitting on my leg he can pull himself up onto something else and is a big fan of standing holding just one hand. This morning he had a toy that was too far in front of him to just reach out and grab so he figured out that he could scooch himself forward by putting one elbow out and pulling and then doing it again with the other one. It took him about a minute to go 6 inches but he got his toy. I have a feeling that now that he has figured this move out he will just get faster. Ava skipped this form of crawling all together. He can push himself all the way up onto his hands and feet, actually, and can hold it for a couple seconds. I see normal crawling happening within the next month or so.

He is getting a little better at eating solids. We have to be better about making it a regular part of his day. I have tried giving him breakfast a few times and he just isn't all that interested. Dinner seems to work better, but I will try again at lunch today I guess. I think he wants to skip baby food and just go straight to finger food, which I don't mind that much but I need to know that he can swallow without choking. Speaking of food, Friday he got cut off from nursing at night. He still doesn't sleep through the night so we figure if we break his habit of eating at night, he will eventually stop waking up. Last night was the first night we had any real issues. He just was wide awake and mad. He sometimes decides to talk to himself for a couple of hours in the middle of the night and last night he didn't feel like being alone. This has made things interesting with sleeping arrangements since he and Ava share a room. We have considered just turning the den into Ava's bedroom, but that kind of seems silly and I would much rather have a play area for them...besides our livingroom.

Anyway, in addition to trying to get back on track with working out, cleaning, and routines, we have a wedding this week. Thursday and Friday are pretty much all accounted for, as far as time goes. I am definitely looking forward to it but things will be pretty crazy.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


First, can I just say that I have had this post written in my head for like the last 4 hours and haven't been able to get to write it, so I am sure that any somewhat deep thoughts are now going to be gone.

Recently at church, we have been discussing listening to God when He speaks. Lately I have been hearing a lot of whispers. I am getting the hint. I just haven't figured it all out yet. Meaning, I have the subject matter figured out. I am just not sure how I am going to apply it.

Today I went to a women's event at church about surviving the ups and downs in this economy: emotionally, spiritually, and monetarily (so sorry if I have just butchered what the actual theme of the event was). Initially, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. In general, I have the knowledge about how to do things. I know how I should organize my time. I know how to meal plan. I know where to get all the good coupons and grocery deals. I know how to budget money. I know all that stuff. I just have a hard time applying it. I didn't want to go and hear everything that I already knew and still feel frustrated because when it all comes down to it, I just lack follow through. But I decided to sign up for it because it would be fun to be with my friends and if I could come away with one new thing then it would be worth it. Plus, who knows what the format will be, maybe I would have something to contribute.

In the last few weeks I have been really struggling with trying to figure out why, no matter what I do, I constantly feel unorganized and behind. I was tired of feeling like I only did things half way. Part of my motivation to quit working full time was so I could really just focus on being a mom and wife, the things I actually cared about, verses being a good employee. I wanted to feel like I was actually good at what I was doing instead of just giving each little piece of my life just enough to get by.

So I quit working full time and during the transition time, I let myself get very busy with things. I am not sure what things, but either way, it has taken a while to get out of vacation mode. I have gotten to the point that I can't stand how I am running my life. No longer is it fun to be busy all the time, running everywhere. It isn't fun to, once again, feel like I am only doing everything half way.

(**so I am once again losing focus, because Justin keeps talking to me. I worked last night and have very little brain power left. One more thought that I wanted to include, gone forever.)

I think that God has been telling me to scale it back. Start over, get down to basics. Grocery lists have frustrated me. Cleaning has frustrated me. Lack of sleep has frustrated me. Justin and I have been arguing over schedules and time and the lack there of. I have found myself having thoughts of dread about feeding Rhys solid foods, because it is just another pull on my time. I couldn't wait to feed Ava. It would be so fun to watch her discover new things. So what the heck are we doing with our time? What am I doing with my time? I have cut out a lot of time wasters around the house lately and it still isn't cutting it. It has ended up leaving me more frustrated because I am still feeling at a loss for what to do to get everything done AND I haven't done things for me.

A friend said that she thinks I have the gift of speaking truth. I generally think I can listen to people, wade through the crap and just hear all the excuses. I have done it at work for years. I figured it was time for this "honest" person to start being honest with herself. I need to let go of all of my own excuses. I figured out that when it comes to cleaning: I'm lazy and no body in this house cleans up after themselves. When it comes to my time: I over-commit and think I can do more than I can, which then results in me feeling like I don't do anything all that well. We also don't say no to people that well. We both also would rather not be at home because then we have a good excuse for why we haven't made dinner, folded laundry, done the dishes, etc. We have a general lack of consistency with our night time routines. That is because typically we are only home together 1 or 2 nights a week. Those are just a few of the examples.

Ok, attempting to bring it all together now. I know I am losing things that I wanted to say, but oh well. So this morning at the women's SOS, I felt like the different speakers either gave me tools (some physical), motivation, a different way to think about things, or just got me thinking. I feel like I am now ready and have a pretty clear path with how things are going to go. It isn't going to be easy for us or others. I have decided we need to go back to basics. Basic meal plans (no fancy foods, I am talking mac and cheese and a side of veggies). Lists, lists, lists. Limiting how many things a week or weekend that we say we are going to do. Setting aside quality family time. We really need to establish OUR FAMILY and what that looks like for us. Our family life needs an overhaul and it is happening now. All of the frustrations have been symptoms of this. During prayer a few weeks ago, our friend prayed for our busy-ness. She said something along the lines that we are so blessed to be loved by so many people who want to spend time with us. Just those words took away one of the reasons I have been totally ok with us being so busy all this time. I never wanted to get to the point where it had been months or years since we had seen our friends. I didn't want to neglect relationships. I think we have gotten to the point to where it is ok to put off a visit for a few weekends until one that isn't already packed with other things. I honestly can't even count how many weekends we have only been home for sleeping. Friday afternoon through Sunday around 9pm, gone all but about 18 hours, if we are lucky. I have to figure out what our balance will be. I don't want my kids to not be able to fall asleep anywhere else or flip out once the clock strikes six and we aren't doing bath time or something like that. But something has to change.

I am excited that people who have inspired me today are people that I really know. I look forward to future discussions and implementing ideas. Know that God spoke through you all today, to at least me. All of my swirling thoughts came together and I now have a plan. Sitting there today I felt like I was playing chess in my mind or doing a puzzle of some sort. I could suddenly see all my future moves, and the path was so clear. So thanks ladies! No I am not signing up to be on the steering committee. Why? Because I am scaling back and focusing on my fam.

(ha! I just re-read this before I hit publish. Not even the post I intended to write, but there you go.)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

look what i can do!

Ok, I had posted a link. but now look! Same item, so don't get too excited.

amazon again

I am seriously in love with Amazon. I love the fact that it remembers what I buy, what I like, things like that. I like browsing their books. I like that you can find almost anything you would want and it will ship to you, often for FREE. Today I bought cat litter and pads for the cat box. They aren't often carried in stores. It was a win. I added a wishlist widget. I think it will just be things that I would love to have, but probably won't ever get to. I should go edit it. Fun! Some things will obviously not be for me, well I hope they are obvious, but for my kids.

Here is a future amazon purchase for me.

Monday, June 8, 2009

doctors, goobers, and baby food

So the laser treatment didn't happen this morning. Ava still had a cough and a fever so it was a no go. Overall it was a much easier "no go" than in the past so that is already a win. Justin was able to go straight to work afterward and was only about half an hour later than normal. We were quite a sight though. Ava coughing and blah with her fever. I got pink eye late last night so my eye was all swollen and red. Ava was still dealing with her pink eye and wasn't gooey anymore but was still a little crusty. I was in an old t-shirt ready to be soaked in goo from her face. Ava was in her pajamas with an interesting hair style to keep all her hair off of her face and neck and Justin was all dressed up and ready for work. We were a gooey, crusty, hot mess.

We have been gradually introducing solids to Rhys. And by gradually, I mean sporadically. He hasn't been the biggest fan. I decided to make him oatmeal instead of rice late last week. I actually just pureed regular oatmeal, so it was a bit chunkier than manufactured rice cereal. He made quite a show of gagging on it and spitting it out. He now seems to love the previously hated rice cereal. He is like oh creamy blandness, how I have missed you. He will be six months old in a little over a week and supposed to be on solids a couple times a day. He really needed to get the whole swallowing thing down so it has taken practice. He really got it down tonight. We also introduced green beans tonight. He was a huge fan. In total he ate about a half cup of food. I got ready for future foods too. I made green beans, peas, and pears. I had made bananas last week but am not rushing them. No need to block up the whole system. I have decided to abandon the ice cube tray method that I used with Ava since I never can get the stupid cubes out. Seriously, how does ice come out?

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The blanket

The blanket
Originally uploaded by hellolittlepeepers
Here is the finished blanket. It is a fluffy piece of cuddle if I do say so myself. This is two finished projects in a week and my hand hasn't fallen off. I still want this glove thing i found but
the company hasn't gotten back to me about the sizes. Anyway, anybody else want a boob hat? I really won't make them look like that again. Different color combinations and whatnot. I want to get
some felt to dew on circles and stars and maybe some flowers.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

New Message

New Message
Originally uploaded by hellolittlepeepers
Here is the baby hat i made but as i took a picture of it i started to really think it needed a ruffle around the edge because it looks like a boob. Live and learn i guess. It is supposed to be a
very basic cupcake hat.


So we have everything all set up for Monday...last night, around 1am, Ava started coughing and was really, really stuffed up. She got up a few times during the night. This morning her eyes were all red and watery and very puffy. We were pretty sure it was an allergy thing, since everything all together was very allergy like. When she got up from her nap I noticed that she was warm, very warm. 102 degrees warm. This isn't allergies. CRAP!

Friday, June 5, 2009

breaking up is hard to do

We broke up with our dermatologist. We have pretty much come to the conclusion that she did not have the machine necessary to get any more results. She had pretty much said as much a few months ago. We had a consultation yesterday with a new dermatologist that had been recommended to us a number of times. We were very happy with what we talked about and are very secure in our decision to switch. She set us up for a laser treatment for next week. We had a treatment scheduled with the old doctor the same day which I had just canceled. Either way, this didn't leave us with a lot of time to get the records via mail. Nope, we had to call Dr. #1 and speak to her directly. She was going to email the new doctor the necessary information. It still felt awkward. I have never had to end an ongoing "relationship" with a doctor. Most could care less if you switch. But with Ava's doctors, they care. She is known by name and face to all of them. She is a topic of conversation when they call about other patients. It was hard, but as with other break ups, once it was done, I felt much better. It needed to happen.

The new doctor didn't promise any miracles. We have no real new expectations for results, we just know that she has more experience and a different machine. I know she will be up front and has treated other kids through out their entire childhood and adolescence. She knows the real deal. Ava will also get eye pressure checks done at the same time, so with this switch her eyes will be closely monitored and the number of times she will have to go under anesthesia is cut pretty much in half. We will still just be getting to a point where it won't get any lighter, probably within the next 1-3 years and from then on out, we will go to just maintaining what lightening has taken place, trying to keep the tissues from stretching and growing and keep the blood vessels from growing back. People ask if Ava still has been getting treatments. The answer is yes, and probably will always be yes. Will she ever be white? Nope. To me, that just kind of proves the point that this is not a cosmetic procedure. Any cosmetic "improvements" are just an added bonus to the medical necessity of the procedures.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

child labor

I am a fan of making kids work for their keep.

It seemed to work well. She shoved such big spoonfuls in his mouth, he had no choice but to eat it. I think he ate more when she fed him than ever before. Yes he is wearing a pink bib. We don't care about these things around here.

crochet or knit

So I keep wanting to make things that are knit, so the solution to that would be to learn how to knit. I have plans to take a class but right now I have so many unfinished things that I kind of think I should finish them first. So that is what I did. I have a shower this weekend that I was like oh, it would be nice to make something for that. So I did. I had a blanket that was 95% of the way finished. So last night I got home from work and finished it. Well mostly, I still have to sew in the tails, but that is all finishing stuff. It used the jumbo sized hook and I think this particular blanket is what did in my wrist. Just working on it for half an hour made my hand burn.

Second shocking thing: I started a new project out of yarn I already have instead of buying anymore. I know. It is insane. I am not sure how it will turn out so I decided not to commit anymore money to it. Part of what I love about crocheting is picking out the yarn for each project. This was a big step for me. I will post pictures of the finished products AFTER the shower, just on the off chance that she happens to check this before that point.